Whenever I see yayas or housemaids in their uniforms tagging along with their amos’ outing, my heart goes out to them. Not only they are required to wear those white maid uniforms that does nothing to their figure but also there is discrimination in its discreet form present. The family sits on the 5 seater table in the restaurant – the yaya sits next to them – on a different table. Or the waiter opens the door for the family and leaves it open for the maid to close it herself.
So I was thinking of how a perfect HOUSEMAID should be, not the kind where you buy them off ACE Hardware and get a free glue after purchasing. A perfect housemaid is a harbinger to the next Vogue model in 2007 – as styled by O.
She (let’s all assume its a she) will be wearing a white polo shirt, denim capris and white ballet flats. And – take this, she will have a nameplate on her left breast.
The perfect housemaid will greet the guests at the living room. Her perfunctory speech will start with,
“Hi. My name is Inday (gestures to shiny nameplate pinned to her breast). I am your maid for the day. Miss Kristine will be down shortly as she is getting dressed. If you have any questions or if you seek assistance, please don’t hesitate to ask.
By the way, snacks will be served in five minutes. Our menu for lunch will be kare-kare,ginataang baka, sinugbang molmol, chicharon bulaklak and dinuguan. Should you have other preferences, please feel free to skim through our menu (hands over laminated menu and leaves the room).”
(comes back with snacks) “Thank you for patiently waiting. Help yourselves to our hot biko and crispy potato chips made especially by our head chef. If you would like I would demonstrate how to apply the dip but most guests actually prefer that they are on a separate bowl. Any other questions that you have you can address to Maria here because my shifts ends after lunch. Thank you and enjoy your day.”
(then comes in Maria) “Hi, my name is Maria. I will be your maid till the rest of your stay here. Miss Kristine advised me she will be down shortly. If you have any questions…”
The perfect HOUSEMAID also is:
1. close to the Energizer bunny, can work for 24 hours straight and can still manage to clean the car the next day
2. has never heard of holidays, birthdays and any special occasions in her life hence, doesn’t have any excuse to go home on those days
3. doesn’t get sick
4. instantly serves refreshments to guests without being told
5. on her free time she doesn’t watch tv, sleep on the couch, flirt with the houseboys or rummage the wife’s closet
6. can do calculus and help out with the daughter’s assignment on physics
7. wakes up at 6am to open the gate for you and tells your dad you’ve been home since 2am
8. who’s pretty and cool enough to go shopping with but she’d end up carrying your stuff anyway
9. is an excellent driver, chef, masseuse, technician, electrician, tailor and plumber
10. must be human.