I’ve been home. I’m in Cagayan de Oro now. But I wished I never left at all.
I only saw Sam for one day. One fight prior. Lunch on Thursday was spent at this popular clubhouse in the mountains with friends and family and Sam said after lunch to text him. And I did. And the network was acting crazy. What time will I see him and all that shit. Sometimes my phone would have signal, sometimes it wouldn’t. It took all my willpower not to bang my phone against the wall. One of his text messages said to make me get him at SM because he said he was already there.
I drove all the way to the mall, parked inside and sent out a text. My fingers were crossed at that time hoping that the message will get to him in time. After thirty minutes, no Sam was there. Even though this was not SM Cebu, it still is huge for me to go walking around looking for him.
Pissed, I sent another text message that I don’t have until next year to wait. Then I left the premises. I drove around my head aching from thinking too much until I remembered my sister was having her hair done at the salon. So I pulled over Carlo Reyes’ in Divisoria and wondered what the hell was I doing following her. Vanessa was with her friends and certainly didn’t need a big sister waiting for her and listening to all their boy talk.
“Ate! What are you doing here?” She asked the moment she saw me.
“Um, do you need a ride home?” I asked.
Puzzled, she asked. “Shouldn’t you be seeing Sam?”
I wondered the same thing. Then Sam’s message came. Angst? Just because you were tired I get to bear the brunt? Don’t assume the load hun.
Maybe all this pressure to see him was taking its toll on us. It is like everytime there is an opportunity for us to see each other, the pressure of ever achieving that feat is so much that sometimes resentment creeps in. Well, for me, at least.
He called up and I answered on the third ring.
“Are you mad? You made me walk all the way to SM from Xavier Estates. And wow, I had to spend 300 pesos worth of load just to communicate with you.”
“Hunbun.. I’m at the clubhouse. See me. I don’t have a car. Please understand. You know I still want to see you.”
“Ten minutes,” was all I said.
Sometimes I need a good dock in the head. If anyone of my friends knew that I followed after him, they would balk. Even I hate myself for following after him just when he could have had followed where I was. But I said bye to my sisters just when she was feeling good about the idea that someone’s driving her home.
In thirty I was at the clubhouse. I saw him trying to call me on his phone and dropped it at the first sight of me. Wet from sweat. He just came from playing basketball and he introduced me to his friend, Bong. What was I doing there again?
“I’m sorry. Look at my text messages. Globe was crazy, you know.” He started going at his phone and making me read all those messages but I turned away. It was not really necessary. He was here. I was there. That’s the whole point. This vacation shouldn’t be spent on all that hoopla over the network. He noticed that I wasn’t paying attention so he kissed my hand and smiled.
“Thanks for coming over.”
I just stuck out tongue and he laughed. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”
He took the car keys from me. “No driving,” he said, laughing.
We got inside the car and again realizing that we don’t have anything planned, he stopped by at Lantaw Cagayan – a nearby restaurant that overlooks the city.
“What are we doing here, hun?” I asked. I have never been here. The only thing I know of this place is that by lantaw it means overlook from afar.. and this restaurant does not really overlook that much. And worst, I heard that this was the restaurant where men take their mistresses…. or boyfriends taking their second girlfriends. I told him that and he just scoffed at the insinuation of mistress.
“It’s nice here. People go to listen to the music…”
I strained my ears and acoustic ballads were sung by a lady in a shocking ensemble of blue of silver. Oh well. At least the song’s good.
Sam ordered beers. Ugh. There he goes again – Making me drink. When the bottle was already half-full, my head was swimming and my speech slurry. What’s new? And he loved it.
“You know why I make you drink? Because everytime we’re together feels like the first time for you. You hardly talk. Somehow, alcohol makes you loosen up. This is me, hun. You don’t have to be so tight and clammed up.” He said.
I was silent. He was right. I just don’t understand that everytime I see him, it is like the first time – in GoNuts on our first date, in MCWD, in Mactan with me just coming up with ways to outquip him but coming up unsuccessful. I can’t explain that somehow. The age difference doesn’t make him better than anyone. I stole a glance at him and blushed. Oh well, he can’t enough for two people, doesn’t he?
“Wow. Just one glass and you’re all red.” He shook his head. “Amazing. Let’s go.” He fished several bills from his wallet and dragged me to the car. Dragged. Dragged. Gosh, he was dragging a sloppy walker whose face is as red as her flip flops.
When we were inside, Sam kissed me. Hard. I forgot about all inhibitions. I forgot about my shyness when around him. I forgot about the man sitting across the car watching the couples inside the car fogging up the windows.